All right. So, last night I randomly got an idea for a Cassie/Yukito story, based off the Ballantyne-Rankin RPG. It's my first ever RPG oneshot, so don't kill me plz...
Some disclaimers...
Cassie Wright is my Original character. MINE. Yukito Maki does not belong to me, he belongs to the wonderful MaskedNicci. Erin Spenser is property of GGJ5, and Tevin Scott belongs to More Than Music. I can't take credit for those wonderful charries, no matter how much they rock.
The title translates from Japanese as "Inerasable Sin". There's also a Nana Kitade song of the same name, but that wasn't my inspiration for this story.
Oh, and sorry the paragraph formatting's kinda weird. I'm too lazy to figure out how to fix it. XD
And...yeah! Here you go!
Brooklyn, Cassie had recently discovered, was a good place to go when one needed to be alone. The normalcy, the sheer unfamiliarity of it made it the perfect place to get away from the rest of the world and think…away from the chaos of the Upper East Side, away from Gossip Girl, away from mothers who cheat and sisters who hide…away from life.
Cassie sat at one of the outdoor tables at Crosby’s, staring off into space. Her coffee sat cooling on the table in front of her, but she barely noticed it. Absently, she pulled out her cell phone and checked her messages. Nothing. Predictable enough—her family only called or texted in emergencies these days, and Erin had become more distant than ever since her incident with Yukito in the practice room. As for Tevin…Cassie sighed. I thought I was finally doing everything right. I thought I would finally get my happy ending and everything would be okay. I told him the truth—I told him I loved him. And he said he loved me. Everything was the way I had always imagined it would be, telling him.
So what did I do wrong? What did I do to make him just vanish like that? I never talk to him anymore, never see him…what did I do wrong?
Oh, who am I kidding? Happy endings don’t exist anymore, do they? They never really did. I know that now, that’s for damn sure.
A chill wind blew through, ruffling Cassie’s hair and disrupting her thoughts. She pushed it back into place and sighed irritably. And then there’s the whole thing with Erin. I tried to help them. I played the stereotypical sitcom best friend and flew in with my fairy godmother wings to save the day, to revive the dying relationship and smack some sense into the silly little lovers and their fight. I did everything right then, too, and look what happened. I caused Erin’s concussion by telling Yukito to talk to her. It’s my own freaking fault and I can’t even own up to it…and Erin doesn’t even know, because I’m a freaking coward. I didn’t even tell her I talked to him that day. She doesn’t know I basically did this to her.
But she won’t tell me what happened, either. She won’t tell me what he said to her or how she reacted or anything. It’s like talking to a wall. If she won’t let me help her, then what exactly am I supposed to do?
Maybe Shelby has the right idea with this hermit thing.
“Would you like another coffee, Miss?”
Cassie looked up to see the server smiling down at her. “Uh…sure,” she replied, her mind miles away from Crosby’s. The waitress nodded and moved to the next table, and Cassie saw him.
It was like the Botanic Garden all over again. Yukito didn’t seem to be taking in anything as he walked along, eyes downcast and hands shoved into his pockets. Cassie did a double take to make sure it was really him. It was.
Fantastic.
Not wanting to repeat the confrontation at the gardens, she remained in her seat and waited for him to notice her. She held her breath as they made eye contact briefly, blue eyes meeting his dark ones, and wondered whether he would actually stay to talk to her, or flee.
Slowly, a little smile crossed his lips. “Hey, Cassiechan,” he said quietly.
Cassie’s own mouth twitched ever so slightly. “Hi.”
Yukito stood there awkwardly for a second, hands still in his pockets. Cassie looked up at him, noting that he looked as awkward as she felt. “Um…I’m assuming you heard, then. About the other day.”
Cassie nodded. “Yep.”
He sighed, looking pained. “Look, Cassiechan, I—“
Cassie held up a hand. “Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t want to hear it.”
“But I just want to--”
“No, Yukito.”
He sighed angrily, and Cassie looked at him. “You don’t even know what happened.”
“I know enough.”
Cassie reached into her purse and put the money for her coffee on the table, forgetting all about the second one she had ordered. Swinging her purse onto her shoulder, she started to walk away, towards the little park she had discovered last week on an expedition to Brooklyn.
“Cassie, wait. Just let me explain what happened.”
“I told you, I don’t want any explanations from you.”
“Dammit, Cassie!”
Cassie turned around to look at him, noting once again the pained expression in his eyes. “No. Let me explain. I don’t know what you said to her, or didn’t say, or whatever, I’ll give you that. But whatever the hell you did say made Erin so upset she hurt herself. She hit herself. Hard enough to give herself a concussion.”
Yukito froze. Cassie raised one eyebrow at him as he shook his head, almost in disbelief. “She did what?”
Cassie nodded. “I’m surprised you didn’t hear about it, actually. One would have thought it would have been all over by now.” She turned and continued walking, outraged at Yukito, at Erin, at herself.
“Cassie.”
She kept walking, looking straight ahead. God, take a hint, will you? Oh, wait, you don’t do hints. Forgive me. I forgot that. Isn’t that how this whole thing started, after all?
Just leave me alone. You’re the last person on earth I want to deal with right now.
“I tried, Cassie,” he said when the entrance to the little park came into view. “I did. I apologized to Erin. I told her I was sorry. That’s all I did, I swear to God.”
Cassie ignored him, throwing her bag into the ground and sitting down hard on one of the rusty metal swings at the playground. Eyes on the sky, she propelled herself forward on the swing, ignoring the loud squeak of protest the chains gave.
Yukito followed her, leaning up against one of the support bars on the swing set, his hair falling into his face and obscuring his eyes. “Well…” he began. Cassie glanced at him for a second before looking away, refusing to let him get to her. You hurt my friend. I shouldn’t even be talking to you. Just get the hell away from me…
“But then…she said some things and…and I said some things…and…Look, Cassie, I tried to fix things. It didn’t work. I tried my best, okay?
“Obviously it wasn’t good enough.”
He scowled. “It’s not as if you gave me the easiest assignment in the world.”
Cassie angrily dug her feet into the ground beneath the swing set as she swung forward again, dragging them until she came to an abrupt stop. “Yes, because it’s so hard to behave like a decent human being!” she said, eyes flashing with anger.
“FINE!” Yukito shouted suddenly, startling Cassie so much that she jumped. “Yes! You’re exactly right! I’m a bastard and an idiot and a horrible person because I can’t save something that’s unsaveable. Oh, lucky me, I’ve hit the trifecta!” He looked away, breathing hard.
Cassie stared at him, a little shocked by his unexpected outburst. “Are you starting to realize what you may have done wrong with Erin?” she asked quietly after a few minutes.
Yukito ignored this, still looking away. Cassie sighed. And here we go again. When does it end, honestly? When can we all just wake up from our respective nightmares and just go on with the rest of our lives? How long before we realize that it’s not worth it trying to pick up the pieces of what we all had before, because nothing can ever be put back together again?
The rustle of chains and creak of the swing told her that Yukito had sat next to her, but she kept her eyes on the ground, sitting motionless on the swing. “I’m sorry, Cassie.”
She turned away from him, starting to swing back and forth again but keeping her feet planted firmly on the ground. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”
“I know,” Yukito said, sounding both mournful and sullen. “I tried, Cassiechan. I really did. It didn’t work, and it’s not going to. It’s over.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, the squeaking of the old swings the only sound in the otherwise-empty park. Cassie gave another quiet sigh. “I’m sorry too, Yukito,” she said, looking at him. “But you know what? I can’t really say I’m surprised. That’s all life really is, isn’t it?” she said, her words harsh. “Heartbreak. Nothing ever turns out the way we think it’s going to. We just have to deal with that. Nothing’s ever the way we think it’s going to be. When I was little, I wanted my very own happily ever after. I wanted the perfect ending to the perfect love story. I would wish for it every birthday, on every star I saw, whenever it showed 11:11 or 12:34 on the clock. Every night before I went to bed, that was my wish.
“It’s taken me sixteen years to figure out just how stupid I was being.”
Idiot. What are you doing? Why are you sitting here pouring your heart out to him? He’s your best friend’s ex-boyfriend, remember that? You shouldn’t even be in the same timezone as him, let alone confiding in him! He can’t help you, anyway—no one can. Why can’t I just grow up and deal with my own problems already?
“Never mind.”
She glanced over at Yukito. He was looking at her. “Even if those ‘happy endings’ don’t exist, it doesn’t mean you’re stupid for wanting one. Everyone deserves one of those, I guess. Erin certainly does.” He paused.
“You deserve one too, Cassie.”
Cassie’s thoughts immediately jumped to Tevin, vanished from her life as quickly as he had entered it. What was he doing right now? Had her forgotten about her, or was he staying away from her for her own good—so if something really did happen to him, she wouldn’t be hurt so much?
“Yeah, right,” she said with a mocking snort.
Yukito made a little noise then, and it took Cassie a minute to recognize that he was chuckling. “This is a different side of Cassie than I’m used to—jaded Cassie. Cynical Cassie. It’s weird.”
She shrugged, none to amused by his attempt at humor. “I’m weird.”
Another silence, punctuated only by the creaking of swings and the faint whoosh of air as Cassie swung, her feet never leaving the ground.
“How’s Tevin?” Yukito asked suddenly.
Cassie looked at him, taken aback. “I—I don’t know,” she admitted. “I kind of thought you would tell me. We—I—I haven’t really seen him lately…or talked to him…”
Something flashed across Yukito’s face then, something that Cassie couldn’t quite name. “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry,”
Cassie shrugged again. “Maybe it’s like you said. Some things just aren’t supposed to be, I guess.”
He nodded. “I guess. Still…yeah.” He looked away then, but Cassie remained facing him, a thoughtful expression on her face and her mind still on what he had just said.
He noticed her looking at him and turned to face her, their eyes meeting for just a fraction of a second before Cassie averted her gaze. What are you doing?! Have you gone completely insane? Walk away. Walk away now, before you do something even worse than you already have! Remember who he is—remember who you are!
Yukito studied her, a puzzled look in his eyes. Cassie felt her face grow warm even as she mentally screamed at herself for acting this way. “Cassie?”
She leaned forward a bit. “Yeah?”
Now it was his turn to look away. “Eh…nothing.”
She frowned. “Okay.” She wanted to run, to scream at her racing heart and her overactive mind, to save herself and the situation before it was too late. Her body, however, seemed to have something else in mind entirely, for there she remained, rooted to the spot.
Yukito met her eyes once again, and he leaned in closer to her as well. The two swings on which they sat gave loud squeaks at this, as if they objected to what was going on as much as Cassie’s mind did, but they were ignored.
“‘I guess you can’t be fixed until you’re broken ,’” Cassie whispered. “Remember?”
He nodded.
Their lips met almost before Cassie knew it, and her eyes widened in surprise before closing slowly, as if she was in some sort of daze. This was a different type of kiss than Cassie was used to. Instead of being either confident or hesitant, it seemed to be both at once, and there was something else in there too…a strange sort of regret mixed with longing.
They broke apart; close enough so that their foreheads almost touched, their eyelashes brushing. Cassie smiled at Yukito as he reached over and gently touched the side of her face, letting his hand linger there.
“Come on, I’ll race ya!”
The sound of a group of children entering the playground broke the spell that seemed to have been put under Cassie by Yukito’s kiss, and she jumped backwards. “Oh, God…” All of it came flooding back to her at once…Erin, Tevin…the gravity of what she had just done hit her like a ton of bricks.
What have I done?
“This…I…” Cassie stammered, jumping off of her swing and grabbing her purse. Yukito stood up, looking concerned and alarmed. He took a step towards her, but Cassie shook her head. “No…I…I can’t…” She turned and broke into a run, the breeze whipping her hair into her face and her thoughts swirling so quickly around her head that she couldn’t get a grasp on any of them.
"Cassiechan!" she heard Yukito call out, but she didn't look back. She kept running.
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complacent
cold
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bouncy
bored
amused
distressed
accomplished